Not a Dangerous Mission
by Orochimaru-han
Summary: Yuuko sends Watanuki on a mission that, while not at all dangerous, spirals out of his control. Donuts


"_All you need to do is deliver this package._

"_That's all? There aren't going to be any spirits there that just happen to want to eat me?"_

"_No, it's just a simple delivery, that's all."_

Watanuki should have known Yuuko had been lying, nothing with her was ever simple. Ever. He should have suspected right from the start that something was going to happen. Sure, there were no spirits chasing after him, there were no traps, doorways into other worlds, impossible riddles or life or death circumstances. No, it was much, much worse than any of that.

He was standing, soaking wet, outside of one Doumeki Shizuka's house.

Why soaking wet? Because the second, the very second he had stepped one foot outside of the gate to Yuuko's shop, it had started pouring rain. Not so bad under normal circumstances, except that Yuuko had been planning this.

"_Alright, off you go, but, no matter what happens, you cannot come back inside the shop grounds until that package has been delivered once you've left. Do you understand?"_

He had agreed, not noticing the mischievous glint to her eyes and how fake her "serious" tone was. This was _all_ her fault. It wasn't even supposed to rain this week. And why he needed to deliver a package to Doumeki right this instant when he would be seeing the big jerk the next day, he didn't know. Yuuko was just… just… evil.

Using one pale hand to brush his bangs, which had been plastered to his forehead, aside, he heaved a sigh and knocked on the door. Might as well get this over with.

Within moments, the person he hated the most, well next to his insane boss at the moment, pulled open the door. Doumeki was already dressed in his yukata, changed for the evening.

"Here." Watanuki shoved the package into Doumeki's hands. "Yuuko told me to bring this to you. Now bow down and thank me three times for my God-like benevolence."

"You're wet." Doumeki pointed out, once again defeating his arch-nemesis the obvious.

"I KNOW THAT!" The bespectacled boy threw his now package-free arms into the air. "Besides, DON'T CHANGE THE SUBJECT!" Really, how the archer could have such good grades and be so stupid at the same time was beyond him. He was obviously forced to spend time with the other boy to learn the lesson that good grades didn't exactly equal smart, because Doumeki was anything but.

Doumeki shrugged, pulling one finger from his ear to open the package that he had been presented with. Inside was a card.

"Well what does it say? It better be important." Watanuki readjusted his glasses on the end of his nose, silently promising death to both giving and receiving parties of the package if it wasn't.

"It says that you have to stay and make me dinner." Doumeki turned the card around, revealing the elegant script that was Yuuko's hand writing. Watanuki was going to do more than Kill Yuuko, he was going to tear her limb from limb and feed her burnt food until she died.

"WHAT? I had to come all the way here, in the _rain_, carrying a stupid package, just to make _you_ dinner? Don't tell me there is some sort of fine print on that card that demands I bring her alcohol at dawn or something!"

Doumeki reexamined the card, as if to make sure there wasn't, before turning it around for him to read again. The script had changed. _It's sweet of you to think of my needs Watanuki, but no, you have tomorrow off._

"I _HATE_ that woman!" Watanuki screeched, waving his arms around for emphasis, pausing momentarily to push his glasses back up his nose before he lost them. "She is doing this just to torture me; I'm cold, wet, and forced to cook for you. She must hate me."

Doumeki obviously wasn't paying attention to a word that was being said, as he grabbed Watanuki's wrist and pulled him inside.

"What are you _doing_?" Watanuki screeched indignantly.

"Getting you inside, so you can change before you get a cold, and so I can get my dinner."

Shortly thereafter, when Watanuki had changed, all the while loudly letting Doumeki know just how displeased with all of this he was, the blue-eyed boy found himself in the kitchen, chopping vegetables and adding another complaint to his list of things wrong with the evening.

"How do you expect to stay healthy whit that selection of food?" He gestured to the refrigerator with the knife he was using, addressing the boy sitting at the table behind him. "No wonder I have to make your lunches; there's almost nothing in this house to eat. You are lucky I'm such a brilliant cook, capable of even the impossible, or you wouldn't have gotten dinner simply for the fact that there was nothing to make dinner with. You should be worshiping the very ground I walk on." He waved his arms wildly as he spoke, but still took the utmost care with what he was preparing.

"Most of the time I eat take out," Doumeki replied, seemingly uncaring with his poor choice in foods.

"You WHAT?" Watanuki shot a glare over his shoulder at the archer. "That is disgusting! I did not need to hear that. I see why Yuuko sent me over now, to save you from yourself." He was _not_ chopping the vegetables more forcefully than needed, it was just a dull knife. "Then again you probably can't cook."

"You can stop by after work every evening and make me dinner, then." Doumeki didn't sound like it was a request, just that he was informing him, the Great Watanuki Kimihiro, on how things would be from now on.

"I will do no such thing!" He angrily dumped the now-chopped ingredients into the pot of water he had placed on the burner, before tuning to face his rival. "I'm not here to serve your every whim. Just because Yuuko sent me over here once, _once_, doesn't mean this will be a habit."

"So I guess I'll have to eat take out."

"You will not, that is _disgusting_! I won't allow it." He waved his arms around once again, only realizing he still held the knife when he nearly cut himself. Carefully he set it in the sink to be washed later.

"Then you'll cook for me." Watanuki opened his mouth to tell Doumeki that he still had it wrong. "It's that or take out." Watanuki snapped his mouth shut again, not willing to admit the other boy was right… for once.

"Only to save you from yourself then. Don't think I'm doing this because I want to."

"Hn."

So that's how it was. Yuuko was even letting him off a little earlier so that he could make the big jerk dinner. Now he didn't even have the excuse of "oh, I was working" to get out of this. Even on his weekends he had to put up with Doumeki, and going on three weeks, he was getting ready to kill something.

"We are having soumen tonight." He announced loudly, walking into the house without knocking, pulling off his shoes and putting on a pair of house slippers in their place.

"I wanted unagi sashimi." Doumeki informed him, appearing from around the corner a little further down the entrance hallway.

"I don't care, you'll eat what I make and like it." He snapped back, his normally limitless patience all but gone. That would be the case with anyone forced to spend this much time with the big jerk; even the wonderful Himawari would be trying her hardest not to punch the archer.

"Hn, whatever."

"You don't have to make me dinner tonight." Doumeki said as they fell into step with one another outside the school gates.

"Miss your foul take out that much?"

"No."

"Then is my cooking not good enough for you?" Watanuki was practically snarling.

"No."

"Then WHAT?" He stopped, yelling a little harshly even for him.

"I'm taking you out to dinner."

"Oh… wait, I'm not going to some cheap restaurant." He narrowed his eyes in suspicion at the other boy.

"Wear something nice," was Doumeki's only response, having been too dense to hear what Watanuki had been saying. Typical.

Yuuko knew something, something he didn't but should. She had told him to go home almost as soon as he had gotten to her shop, but not before she had shoved a package into his hands with the instructions of "wear this".

There didn't _seem_ to be anything wrong with the clothing that she had forced on him, other than it was silk. A dark blue Chinese style shirt, and simple black pants. Nothing overly elaborate, nothing seemingly possessed by anything, but something strange. It had to be strange, Yuuko had given it to him.

He gave himself a final glance in the mirror when he heard the knock at his door, but still couldn't see anything visibly wrong, so he went to greet Doumeki.

"You're late."

"Hn."

"Increase your vocabulary you big jerk!"

"You look nice."

"Don't talk to me like I'm a girl!"

"Hn."

"Gah!"

The beginning to an eventful evening. Watanuki was fuming by the time they arrived at their destination; actually, he had been fuming before they had left his apartment. He calmed down when he saw the restaurant, noting how nice it actually was, then noting that Doumeki's clothing was similar to his in the sense that it probably cost an arm and a leg. He hadn't paid attention to it sooner because he was too preoccupied with trying to get intelligent conversation out of the archer. It had been a fruitless endeavor.

They were shown to their table and given menus before the waiter disappeared. Watanuki read, reread, and read his menu again just for good measure, to see what kinds of food this place offered. Many were dishes that were expensive and difficult to make if you didn't have any clue what you were doing, which they probably didn't, and he didn't trust this place enough to choose any of them.

"Are you ready to order, sirs?" The waiter asked, the picture of proper.

"I…"

"We will both have this." Doumeki overrode what he had been trying to say, pointing to something on the menu before snatching Watanuki's out of his hand and handing both to the waiter.

"Very good, sir." The waiter disappeared without another word.

Watanuki glared at Doumeki from across the table, contemplating stabbing the other boy with his _spoon_ because it was _dull_ and would hurt more. "I can order for myself," He hissed, keeping his voice low, "besides, you don't even know what I like to eat."

"Trust me." Doumeki responded, using his normal speaking tone, instead of lowering his voice as Watanuki had.

Unconsciously, Watanuki's hand twitched towards his spoon.

Watanuki wasn't going to admit to anything. Nope, not a thing. Not that he had actually had an enjoyable time, because he didn't. Not that the food was good, because it most defiantly wasn't. Not that he wanted to thank Doumeki for taking him out tonight, because that made it sound too much like a date. He was going to admit to _nothing_.

And so, they walked back to Watanuki's apartment in silence.

Watanuki, of course, couldn't have known that this was a bad idea. That he should have been pretending to have had a horrible time, instead of pretending that he didn't have a good time. But he couldn't see into the future, so how was he supposed to know what was going to happen?

Doumeki walked him to his front door, standing there in typical Doumeki-ish silence. Watching as he pulled out his key and unlocked the door. He didn't open it though, no he did something stupid, he turned around.

"I guess I'll see you tomorrow night then." Since it was a weekend, he only had to put up with Doumeki for making him dinner.

Doumeki didn't say anything, he only shifted his weight to the other foot. If it had been anyone else, Watanuki would have said the archer was fidgeting, maybe he was waiting for him to say something else?

"…Thanks… I guess…" He had to force it out from between clenched teeth, but maybe the jerk would go away now, instead of standing there and staring at him.

Doumeki just kept staring.

"What do you want? Want me to invite you in or something?" Watanuki snapped, this staring game getting on his nerves. Stupid mistake number two, apparently.

Doumeki moved forward with speed he rarely ever saw from the archer, usually in life or death situations. Watanuki's life that is, because his was the only one ever in danger. That's how he found himself pressed up against his door, with the taller boys lips pressed against his own.

He should have pushed Doumeki away, should have and didn't. His body wasn't listening to him, it just seemed to be… melting, and then he found a tongue in his mouth, one that wasn't his. Worse than that, he was _enjoying_ said tongue in his mouth, _a lot_. Then, as if to top it all off, he was kissing Doumeki back.

Watanuki had no idea how long this entire thing went on, or how things really progressed after that, he just hoped that one of them had remembered to grab his key from the lock as they stumbled inside of his apartment.

The key was the least of his worries though, as he seemed to be losing clothing at an alarming pace. So was Doumeki for that matter, but it was _not_ his brain telling his hands to undo buttons and pull at the cloth separating him and the other boy, his brain was far to smart for that, and thus he came to the conclusion that he was being controlled. Not that he would admit he was _enjoying_ all of this.

So, the next morning, when he woke up with an arm across his chest, and another person in his bed, he _knew_ this was Yuuko's fault. She had been planning this since she had him deliver that stupid package. He should have seen this from _one hundred miles away_; Yuuko was, after all, a yaoi fangirl and made no secret of the fact.

He just wasn't going to say anything to her about it, because he would never hear the end of it, and she would want details. Not to mention that if he had to talk to her about it he would be too mortified to let it happen again, and he didn't want that.


End file.
